


Mayra, Mine

by luminous_nyght



Series: Personal Rebellions [5]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Maybe some angst for Larry but not Ziam hehe, There is some Nouis Ziall Zarry and Lilo banter too, fluff and a lot of it, kidfic!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 19:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminous_nyght/pseuds/luminous_nyght
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I love you,” he said, looking up at Liam, tone hushed, a whisper almost. A secret.</p><p>“I know, Z. I know,” Liam whispered back, as the hand on his arse moved up to cup the small of his back pulling Zayn into a tighter embrace. “I really do know, Zayn. And me too. But it’s not like I don’t tell you every few hours.” Liam chuckled.</p><p>“Still though Li, sometimes all of this,” he said lifting his head to look around, “feels like a dream. I don’t know what I’d do if I were in Lou and Harry’s position.”</p><p>“Don’t think about it, Z. All we have is ours. It’s all ours and maybe you can’t believe it yet, even seven years on, but I swear you will by the time we are old and wrinkly.”</p><p>“Liam Payne, I love you, but do you know how incredible sappy that all sounded?” Zayn said in mock horror trying to cover up his blush by fully burying his face in Liam’s collar.</p><p>“I do and I don’t care,” he said as he stopped walking. “I really do want you to believe, in this, in us,mujhmey yakeen hai,” Liam said in Urdu, to believe in me. “And it might take some more years, Zayn. But we have forever to make it happen.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mayra, Mine

Mayra, Mine

Streaks of copper and coral were slowly starting to seep into the room, the sphere itself peaking it’s way up on the distant horizon over London’s skyline and skyscrapers far away from their bit of heaven. Its brilliant rays of yellow and gold silently filled the space with that gentle heat and glow of the early summer. Zayn was awake, one of the rare times he was up earlier than the rest of the household. It was a new concept to him, because since being married to Liam, life for him was now kaleidoscopic. An arc from the stark white to the profound scarlet. A life where punctuality and order existed, of structure and routine. But really a life of yearning passion and burning rapture. Life was everything he ever wished for, vivid and lucid yet muted and hushed. Liam was everything to him, the sleeping man next to him, his world.

Liam was usually roused before 6am, up for his early jog, “before the sun’s properly up” was his excuse. But Zayn very well knew it was because Liam had picked up on the fact that he liked to receive his first morning kiss with a freshly showered and towel clad Liam in tow. Sometimes he wished life was this simple for the other three boys, too.

He shifted, shuffling the linen. Tucked beneath him was their little girl. She had appeared sometime during the night, their Amelia. The nymph like, flower loving, piano playing genius that took after him in so many ways. Jet black hair, just like his, spread out on the pillow that donned Ironman’s face on it. Hazel bright eyes and the classic Payne nose, her dusted pink coloured lips slightly parted sleeping soundly. Zayn laughed softly, realizing that she had stolen the pillow off Zafar. The children had all inherited his and Liam’s senseless, but ever present, love for superheroes. He felt the mattress shift, the crisp white sheets falling off Zayn as they hit the end of the bed. He looked up then just as Liam’s lashes flickered open, to reveal his beautiful brown eyes.

“Hi you,” he gently whispered, just as Liam smiled at the sight of them laying askew on the bed.

“Morning,” he answered, his voice slow with that morning gravel to it, at the same time leaning over Amelia to peck Zayn’s nose—to which he scrunched up playfully just as Liam’s lips touched it. Liam giggled, pulling away as Zayn pouted, disappointed that Liam didn’t reach for his lips. Liam just laughed again reaching for Zayn’s hand instead and leaned down to kiss Amelia’s forehead.

Liam’s features suddenly hardened and the gentle clasp around his fingers tightened. Zayn immediately recognized that Liam remembered, too.  

“She is coming over today isn’t she?”

That she was. Maria May was the woman in question. Zayn shifted again. He did actually despise thinking about her. She was Louis and Harry’s surrogate. The mother of their children. Maria had issued the boys with court orders claiming a bogus affair with Harry that resulted in their twins, Ava and Caleb. She wanted custody, claiming she was paid off to keep quiet about their alleged fling. In actual fact, the twins were conceived through IVF. However Louis and Harry had been asked to provide proof of that fact meaning several court appearances to clear their names if she didn’t accept a payout.

“Yeah, yeah she is. Do you think we can fix this?”

“Zayn, it’s not up to us. You know this already, but Harry and Louis—” he stalled.

“Yes Li, Harry and Louis are the ones who we are doing this for. It’s not fair and you know it.” Zayn hushed out trying hard not to let his anger take over.

“Calm it, Z. It will be fine, yeah? And no it’s not fair but it happened.” Liam bit at his bottom lip before he continued, and Zayn could tell he was up to something. “I think we also need to draft in Clifford to be in charge of press control.”

Zayn laughed, he wasn’t expecting Liam to come up with that. Press control was needed, it was a given, but still—

“Earth to Zayn?” Liam said as his grin reached his eyes. They crinkled a bit, making Liam’s face contort to evoke, well… adorableness.

“Erm, yeah,” Zayn said. “Really, babe, when did you have the time?” Liam giggled as he turned over to start his day while tapping the side of his nose as a reply. Little tease. Zayn smiled again at the childish response, _typical Liam_ he thought and reached out for his elbow, just in time to make him drop back down into the bed.

“You know Clifford is the best PR in London. Harry and Lou already have lawyers thank god, now please babe get that smirk off your face before you make me do the unacceptable. Oh yes, Payne, I’ll take you down!” he teased this time.

“Bring it on,Malik. I’d love to see what you’ll come up with,” Zayn said. Liam's eyes blazing and smile so wide, Zayn wondered if it hurt.

By the sudden jostling around he noticed Amelia had woken up. But just like him, she buried her face back into the sheets.

Zayn smirked up at Liam from between his lashes and lunged onto him, hitting right below his ribs and sides knowing Liam would go insane. It was funny, they’d done this as boys and were still at it as men, he thought, some things never change. Soon enough Liam was a mess, practically screaming but laughing loudly for Zayn to stop. He smiled, satisfied, and let go long enough to just be sitting on top of him, allowing Liam to catch his breath and probably utter a few hushed profanities. Liam hated being tickled, yet one of Zayn’s favourite pastimes was in fact tickling Liam. He leaned down and pecked Liam’s forehead and turned his head to the side a little, just in time to catch the little girl at the end of the bed laughing her little heart out.

“Come on, Amelia,” he said gesturing with his hands. Laughing, she scrambled over to climb up on Liam too.

“Morning, Papa,” she said kissing his cheek. Liam enclosed his arms so that she was laying comfortably on his chest as he looked up at Zayn smiling softly. “Papa,” she started, her head still buried in Liam’s neck. “We don’t usually have tickling parties unless Daddy or you do something big.”

Liam chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, boo. Daddy is just happy that’s all.”

Amelia was a bright kid and she was also persistent when it came to things like this—she liked to know the what, the how and the when of things. She pulled away and sat up to look at Zayn, the question still gleaming in her eyes.

“It’s ok, bab,” Zayn said. “Promise.”

“I think he deserves a kiss then,” she squealed. “Go on. I know you hate me looking. I’ll shut my eyes, promise!” she encouraged, as she fell off Liam and onto the bed, swiftly steadying herself to hug Zayn tightly.

He giggled. Honestly where did they get such an understanding child? Zayn leaned down again, placing his hands back on Liam’s firm chest taking in his husband’s flushed cheeks and huge smile that sat happily on his face. He leaned in, pressing his lips onto Liam’s. Li gladly responded, kissing gently back.

Zayn pulled back quickly just as Liam shuddered, whispering, “How do we deserve these children?” Liam’s lashes flicked open at that, moved up and down Zayn’s face, and then back and forth between them and Amelia, thinking of Aziz and Zafar, too.

“I don’t know, Z,” he smiled. “We truly don’t.”

No they really didn’t, Liam was right there.

Remaining comfortably pressed together nose to nose, just inhaling each other (like Zayn didn’t have Liam’s scent memorized already) he angled his lips to meet Liam’s lips again. He felt Amelia’s little hands grasp solidly at the small of his back, as she took the chance and wiggled herself on top of him, trying not to fall off. He reluctantly pulled away, turning his face to look at her, resting his stubbled cheek on Liam’s lips who kissed it promptly and asked what she was up to.

She laughed saying, _“_ I just wanted to see the view from up here even though I promised not to _._ ” After that she quickly kissed his other cheek and jumped off him and the bed for that matter, and she ran out in search of her brothers. Zayn dropped his head in Liam’s neck, laughing, sometime soon he might actually believe that what he had now was his—forever.

*

They stumbled out of bed about forty-five minutes later, Liam promising to get a start on breakfast after his precious jog. Their happy daze seemed to linger.

Louis and Harry’s intervention had long been coming. Having them move in was the catalyst to sort the situation out, out of the public eye if it was possible. But Maria was a feisty woman. Zayn knew that sometimes both Harry and Louis needed a forceful hand, to make them realize it was time to stop and reevaluate. They knew she’d fight tooth and nail to have access to her children. She thought she could have her way just because of who they were and their status in society.

It was simple really, Louis and Harry had made the wrong choice when it came to choosing the right woman to bear and carry their children. Which was why Zayn and Liam were adamant in helping them out.

While Liam and him had decided to have kids that belonged to both of them, Louis and Harry hadn’t chosen to ask their sisters for eggs, opting to let the surrogate be the mother instead—meaning Ava and Caleb’s mum was Maria. He and Liam had chosen to use genetic material from their sisters meaning Liam was Zafar’s and Aziz’s biological father, and Zayn was Amelia’s. Waliyha and Ruth had provided eggs for them, and they were carried to full term inside their chosen surrogate, Natila. Which is why they wanted to help their best friends out. It was a case of really bad luck they needed help to get out of. Both Louis and Harry were excellent parents and Maria knew that, but she was trying her cards anyway, by taking them to court for the custody.

Zayn walked into the library to find recent newspapers, it was his favourite place in the house and the room he lived in when they weren’t on tour. With its large bay windows hiding away behind thick velvet curtains, shelves from wall to wall filling the room and with that musty smell of old weathered books, he loved it. The room had a cosy feeling it, too. A place where Zayn still had the capability to get lost for hours inside a kingdom, a castle or an bygone era. From Chaucer to Poe to Shaw to F. Scott Fitzgerald, Zayn always found somewhere to escape to. It was a place he could sit and read or sketch and forget the world—where those four walls were his realm, his life.

He grabbed Amelia’s purple tutu, which was idly hanging off the maroon coloured armchair just by the window. “Aziz,” he called out looking over at the boy sitting at the window seat. He knew he was there seeing his bare feet sticking out from behind the curtains, and Zayn knew it was Aziz as his crescent birthmark—a darker shade from the rest of his honey gold skin—was on display on the underside of his left foot.

“Yes _baba- jaan_ ,” his son returned, opening the curtains and looking up from his book. One just like it always seemed to be pressed to his nose. Zayn took the time to walk across the room to grab the papers off the desk.

“I need you and your brother to clean this space up. We have people coming _aaj_ and here,” he said as he moved his hands out in front of him signalling the room, “needs to be cleaned, please.” He looked around at the ruckus the kids had created in a day.

“Yeah ok, I will,” he said, dropping his book and  promptly getting up from his seat and moving to go find Zafar.

Aziz and Zafar had just turned six, Zafar older by just 3 minutes. Zayn had to admit they looked a lot like Li, with the blond brown tufts that fell onto their foreheads and squishy noses just like their dad’s—all four of them had it—and Zayn couldn’t be happier. They had Zayn’s eyes though, like Amelia. Everybody commented on their bright big hazel eyes. They had also taken Zayn’s love for the arts. While Aziz prefered a book, Zafar had taken on his other passion—art—and the boy could always be found sketching away. Usually underneath the dining room table, where he seemed most content. What got Zayn the most though was their love for music. All three of them had taken up at least one instrument which both Liam and himself couldn’t believe at first—Aziz excelling in violin and flute, little Amelia at the piano and wild rebellious Zafar at the drums.

They lived in a time where life was too fast, were there wasn’t enough breathing space. Where children grew up too fast. Also with Liam and him being who they were, everybody was interested in the Malik-Payne children. So instead of being zoo animals on display to the world in London, they had decided to move to the country into to a very secure and stable community. Where they could run around a bit, he argued at the time. Which meant they were able to lead somewhat normal lives and their kids were allowed to be, well… kids.

Zayn took a seat at the window himself, moving Aziz’s novel to the side, and looked out over the orchard and paddocks. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe his luck and all that was his. That he was blessed with so much in his life, that yes in a way, everything for Liam and himself was finally falling into place. Where his scars were just that. Where his past was held tightly in a little box. Where he got up and became a better person. Where he realised that life was there—his for the taking—and the only entity preventing him from fully experiencing it was him. Now with little Layla—their fourth and final child—on her way to complete their family he was happy. But sometimes he still didn’t believe he deserved it.

“Baba?” He heard as he turned his head to look at Aziz and Zafar, who as expected had turned up in Batman pajamas matching Aziz’s Spiderman ones and a sketch pad held tightly under his arm. He smiled at them and reminded himself that yes, they were his.

“Hmmm?” Zayn said, finally snapping out of his reverie.

“Why are Ava and Caleb here and why have they been with us all week?” Aziz asked.  

It was the first time either of the boys questioned the presence of their friends. Louis and Harry had thought moving away from their substantial property in London for a while would be good for their children and the move out to Hertfordshire was their last hope to get away. It was also just in case paparazzi were lurking around. Liam and Zayn had enough security and six foot concrete walls surrounding the perimeter to keep prying eyes out. Especially now, it seemed, as if this was the calm before the storm.

“ _Aao_.” _Come_ , he said, gesturing towards the window. The boys came sheepishly almost and climbed up to sit next to him.

“Well, your uncles have been having problems with Maria, you know her right?” There really was no point lying.

They nodded so Zayn continued.

“Well, she’s just like Natila, but with you Natila isn’t your mum, is she?” Zafar shook his head grinning, he knew the answer to that. Zayn smiled again, they did that sometimes, they liked answering for each other and Zafar was right, Zayn and Liam had shared how the boys came when they were old enough to understand. It became their favourite bed time story, they liked to listen to Zayn or Liam tell them the tale again and again. It was ingrained in them, just as much as their first name was and because of it, all three of them adored Natila. Which was a blessing. Aunt Natila was very much a part of their lives especially now that they were expecting again.

“Tell me who your mum is then?” Zayn asked Zafar, seeing he was appointed to answer the questions.

“Aunt Waliyha. And Papa is my dad. You’re my baba.”

“Uh-huh, Maria and Natila had a job. That job was to bring you here into the world, you know that, yes?” Zayn waited on them to answer. They nodded instead.

“Now Maria is a bit different because she is Ava and Caleb’s mum and she wants to take them away from Uncles Harry and Louis.” Zayn said, trying to explain the situation in its simplest form. Aziz made a face. Zayn knew they understood what he’d just said, because it was Aziz and Zafar he was talking to.

“You can’t tell them ok? Promise me. They can’t know because for one they are younger than you and secondly it’s not something they should worry about, ok?”

They nodded again and intertwined their pinkies together—a silent promise—then looked up at Zayn with what he had come to call ‘Liam’s puppy dog eyes’. Which they both had mastered flawlessly. Together and suddenly they leaped forward across to him. He was being hugged tightly, two pairs of hands making way around Zayn’s still thin but finally healthy body, holding him in place. Zayn reached around them to press back.

They let go but not moving far enough away from him to be completely out of reach.

“That will never happen to us, right? Like us,” Aziz pointed in between him and Zafar, “or Amelia and Layla. Right?

Zayn chuckled softly, cuddling them against him again. “For one, Layla isn’t here yet and two, no it can never happen to you. Promise,” he said.

Layla was still 4 months away and he silently hoped that the mess was cleared by then. “Natila in our case can’t take you away because she’s not your mum.”

Relief was evident in both their faces. Zayn thought it was a good thing they got it sorted out of the way. It seemed only fair to tell them why they were suddenly sharing their house with four other people that they usually only saw on weekends at the studio.

“Come on, your dad is making breakfast today, special treat. So you won’t be getting chocolate covered pancakes if we don’t go now. You know how Amelia likes to eat them all. But after breakfast you clean this mess, ok?”

They giggled, looking around. To be fair the place was a mess.

“ _Baba maitumse pyaar karta hun ,_ ” _I love you_ _Daddy,_ Zafar said hugging him again, eyes big full of relief and imminent tears. Aziz leaped forward too, but this time he wasn’t surprised.  

“I promise it will never happen to you.” he found himself saying, hugging them both back tightly. Silently relieved that they would never be in such a situation themselves.

“Come on then, before everyone else eats everything.” He smiled grabbing onto both their middles and pulled them further into his body, not even struggling to pick up the tutu and the papers as he made his way out the door.

*

He wandered his way into the breakfast room and plopped them down on the chairs kissing both their foreheads, smiling, patting their heads as they started on their pancakes. Zayn in turn went in search for Amelia who it seemed had vanished into thin air.

“Amelia!” he called as he made his way across the room and into the kitchen. Looking around he saw Ava and Amelia stretched out on the floor next to the french doors, which were wide open, colouring in a book that seemed to have Zayn’s own face on it.

“Amelia,” he said again, this time gaining her attention. She sat up and looked at him expectantly.

“What do we say about messes, Amelia?” He held the tutu up in his hands. All she did was laugh her head off.

“That would be my fault and, Zayn, don’t raise your voice. She’s only a child,” Louis chuckled out in that sarcastic and condescending but fond tone of his, as he popped his head in from the garden. It seemed Harry and he were drinking their tea out there. Both Louis and Harry looked brighter and happier since they had moved out here with them. Zayn raised an eyebrow at Louis, asking for an explanation in mock horror, only for Amelia to answer instead.

“Uncle Louis was trying to make us laugh. He put it on his head and started singing _Little Things_ while dancing like Angelina Ballerina telling us all the things that make us beautiful,” she said absentmindedly as she started to colour in Harry’s face again.

Zayn turned to look at Liam and both of them burst out laughing. He could still see Louis’ face turned tickled pink and Harry’s fond grin behind him. Zayn thought Louis didn’t expect her to be so blunt, as she had just compared him to a dancing mouse. He put the tutu down and left it on the breakfast bar. For now.

 _Little Things—_ though an old song—still held a special place in their rankings. It was the song that made them realize they needed a change. That they needed a new target audience and more control over their own lives. Niall still argued that song was what caused them to change and shape the road they took when all five of them reached their twenties.

Zayn walked up to Liam then, grasping him into a backward hug and pressed a kiss on his cheek. He whispered ‘ _smells good babe_ ’ making Liam laugh and return the kiss, then pushed Zayn away to go eat up too. Zayn pouted and Liam kissed him for it but he still shooed him away whispering, “Go get food in you, Z. And prayers, yeah?”

So Zayn complied, sauntering across the space, swinging his hips, making a bit of a show to anyone watching his teasing. He heard Liam grumble under his breath, and Zayn laughed, satisfied as he made his way to the living room to grab his prayer mat.

*

When he returned, he grabbed a forkful of pancakes and made sure all the kids ate everything put in front of them. Zayn started clearing the mess away, having sent Liam (with a kiss on the forehead and a hushed promise to talk to Harry) to babysit for now. He and Liam were both the kind of people that hated clutter—the sooner the space was tidy again the better. Harry stood up to help too, and the two of them made their way back and forth through the rooms till everything was in the kitchen.

“Daddy, Daddy!” Ava called out. Harry turned and bent down to look at her while Zayn finished up the plates.

“Can we go to the pool with Uncle Liam. Please please please, Daddy.” Ava was three but just like Harry she had the charm of an adult, and when she smiled her dimples lit up her face. She mirrored Harry perfectly if he had to be honest. She’d even picked up Harry’s sense of contentment when things weren’t so peachy.

Harry looked towards him for an answer. Zayn had no idea about the stint in the pool. He wasn’t much of a swimmer. Even though he had improved, he never made impromptu trips to it like Liam did. For Zayn, the pool was just there. It wasn’t a necessity to buy a house with an indoor pool, it just came with it.

He shrugged and Harry turned back to Ava.

“Why not. But remember people are coming and Uncle Niall will be here soon. It can’t be all day, ok?” Harry said. Ava squealed, hugged Harry tight and ran out of the room just as quickly as had she come in.

“I think Liam,” Harry turned round to start putting utensils in place, “thought taking them down to the pool is the best way to let out some of that energy all five of them seem to have.”

Zayn grinned.

“Yeah that might be it, but really its because he had some ideas this morning as to how we can get rid of Maria—without it going public—and you know how fidgety he gets with stuff like that. We need a game plan, Harry. She is out to skin you alive and you know that.”

Harry sighed and slumped against the counter.

“I know. I know. But I still don’t get why she can’t see we’re happy the way we are and she’s butting in after three years! Three years, Zayn! It just seems so alien.”

Zayn moved and grabbed at Harry’s shoulder for the other to straighten up. Which he did.

“She’s doing this to get reaction out of you. It looks like she’s skint and she knows having custody of those kids will be the only way she’s able to support herself now that she can’t have more. Do I need to remind you the number in our bank accounts?”

Harry shook his head. He very well knew what Zayn was trying to say. Their band had skyrocketed to fame in months and even though everything about them changed—from poppy boy band to indie stars—they still very much owned the music industry. Only last month they’d celebrated their fifth Grammy in as many years. Zayn knew that Maria only wanted a huge settlement out of this, but he wasn’t about to entertain the idea of Harry and Louis paying out, if they didn’t have to. They had given the woman too much already.

They finished cleaning up in relative silence after that. Zayn pondered the idea of asking Harry how he and Louis were holding up. Their marriage wasn’t exactly the easiest thing on the planet, he knew that, but he decided against it. Being grilled about your marriage from your best mate wasn’t exactly comfortable conversation. Zayn smiled at Harry as he remembered the sixteen year old boy with a head full of curls and huge emerald green eyes that screamed innocence. It had been nearly 12 years since then. Life, Zayn thought, moved way too fast.

“Come on then, lets go see what they’re all up to,” Harry said just as he finished folding the dishcloth. Harry smiled at Zayn, which he returned.

“Come on then,” Zayn echoed as he pulled Harry into a hug. “We’ll get through this together, ok, Harry,” he reassured.

Harry pulled back, strangely serious. “Thanks Zayn…. for everything. And not just now. Even when we were kids, not in control of our lives, you were there. You saw the good, the bad and the ugly and you never once got angry or turned me away when I came to you. So thank you.”

“Come here,” Zayn said as he pulled Harry in again. “I’m here, yeah? I love you and those kids with everything I’ve got. I’m not about to let her take them away from you. You were there for me just as much as I was for you. You have nothing to thank me for, Harry. You’re family. Remember that. No matter what happens in life you’re stuck with us. There is no way out, you listening?” Harry smiled and Zayn reached up to mess with his ever-present curls. “Come on then, lets go have some fun,” he said as he let go of Harry and walked out the french doors.

*

“Amelia, Amelia what are you doing in the—” Zayn didn’t have to finish the sentence. He got his answer without the need of words anyway. In front of him stood two three year olds looking dazed and covered in white washing powder—Amelia’s original black hair looking a very rank shade of white. He bent down to meet Amelia’s eyes.

“Amelia what are you doing?” he asked.

“We wanted to smell it, but it fell on me instead.” Her cheeks flushed pink.

Zayn chuckled. “Amelia, you just washed your hair! And smell it? What is there to smell?!” he exclaimed. “People, Amelia. People are coming in less than five hours. Ava come on,” he coaxed, “we need to get you washed up, too.”  He bent down to pick up Amelia and reached out to grab Ava’s hand as he made his way up the stairs to the bathroom.

“Stay here a minute, I need to get your things and call Papa. Don’t move ok, you’ll get more white everywhere.” They nodded and sat down by the tub, to wait for him to come back.

Zayn chuckled, making his way into Amelia’s bedroom to grab the clothes they needed after her bath and called Liam and Harry up to the bathroom to help out too. He couldn’t believe that Amelia was so brash and spontaneous sometimes. She must have gotten that off precious Uncle Louis. They had barely been out of the pool an hour. Children. He chuckled again. Children.

“Come on then you two, out of your clothes,” he said as he walked in again, turning to fill the tub up.

“Zayn, could you possibly wash Ava’s hair too?” He heard Harry ask almost sheepishly from the doorframe. “It’s usually Louis who does it. Last time I did she was in tears,” he explained further.

“Yeah it’s ok. But look at Amelia’s state, yeah? I need to get it out now!”

“Yeah its fine mate, thank you,” Harry said as he helped Ava into the water with a splash.

“Come here you,” he told Amelia as he lifted under her arms and placed her in too.

Her hair reached her middle so it took Zayn a while to get the powder out. He could hear Liam and Harry laughing in the background. It was different. Liam and Harry had only got close because of Harry’s ever increasing visits in the middle of the night when they were teenagers. They hadn’t exactly bonded straight off the bat—it took a few good years—but now they were as close as ever.

“Daddy, Daddy?” Amelia said as she shook his hands to get his attention.

“Hmm,” he said as he stopped rinsing out the soap.

“Can you braid it?”

“What your hair? Amelia you haven’t asked in months.”

“I know. But can you, please.” She looked over at Ava who nodded. The girls were only six months apart, Ava the older one of the pair. They were just as close as he was with the boys. Joined at the hip since birth so to speak. “And Ava’s too.”

“Yes, ok, we can do that. But we need to get you out of here first, ok? And Amelia, next time you don’t try to play with washing powder, ok?” She nodded and he smiled, lifting her up and placing the towels tightly round her then calling in Liam to help dress her as he moved on to Ava.

“Liam,” he said, turning his face to look up at him. “Leave the hair in the towel please, I need to comb it through in a bit, yeah?” Liam smiled and simply kissed Zayn’s forehead, whispering as quiet ‘thank you’ as he walked out of the bathroom with their little girl in tow.

“Come on then you, lets show your dad how it’s done.” He grinned and called Harry over who quickly placed his phone back in his pocket grabbing her clothes off the sink and walked over.

“It’s simple look at this, yeah?” he said as he gently pulled all of Ava’s shoulder length hair back into a ponytail, so that her head was angled upwards and any excess shampoo didn’t fall in her eyes. He started to rub shampoo gently onto her head, easing the white out.

He turned to Harry, nudged him with his soapy hand and giggled. “I told you to look, you don’t need to stare, Harry.”

“Uh, sorry it’s just that you’ve always been the good one when it comes to this stuff. I can do the piggyback rides and the hide and seek but I can’t do…that,” he said as he pointed to Ava’s head again.

“Harry,” he said in an almost patronizing tone. Harry was always hard on himself when it came to parenting and Maria wasn’t really helping the situation. “You think that this matters? These are the little things, Harry. Liam can barely do this either and you know that. You two are good at the major things. You are good at being their funny dad. The cheeky one, the go to daddy when either me and Lou are too harsh. You’re the ones that are always up to play with them—and knowing you, it’s anything from football to tea parties. What I do, as in this stuff,” he said as he started to rinse out the soap, “it’s the bits they won’t remember. I might be the one that washes the hair and makes breakfast but I’m not there when it comes to making their memories, because the studio takes up most of that time. Harry really don’t beat yourself up about it. I bet they don’t even care that you don’t do this, because you are there when needed the most.” He stopped again to grab the other set of towels off the sink.

“Maybe,” Harry started. “But still, Amelia adores you. Just because you aren’t the ‘funny dad’ it doesn’t mean she hates you.”

“Exactly what I’m trying to tell you. Just because you can’t do this,” he stopped and lifted Ava out of the bath,  “It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you just as much.” He looked at the clothes waiting in Harry’s hands. “You can dress her right?” Harry nodded and Zayn smiled at him.

“Ok, do that while I go in search of that husband of yours. Leave her hair towel in please. I need to comb it. Amelia asked for me to braid it when it’s nearly dry.”

Harry let out a small laugh. “See what I mean, Mr.-I-can-do-everything daddy,” he teased.

“Oh, please stop that,” Zayn said, but he could feel his cheeks coloring. “I’m gonna go now. Empty the water, Harry. Other than that do whatever till about 11 yes. I need Ava in the library by then, please.”

“Will do, Z.,” he promised as Zayn stood up, leaving the room with a smile.

*

“No!” he shrieked. “Louis, Jesus Christ, you can’t say that.”

“I bloody well can and will. I will fucking leave before this bloody mess gets out.”

“Louis, you do realise this is not about Harry, right?” Liam said rather calmly given the situation. Zayn knew from the look on Liam’s face he wanted to scream but he couldn’t because it was Louis and Louis hated confrontation.

“Who is it about then?” he retorted.

“Christ, Louis! What will the kids think if you just suddenly… If you suddenly run out on them?” Zayn said this time, turning Louis’ attention back on him.

“They’ll be living with their mother soon anyway. Zayn, why are you two being difficult?!”

“No, Lou. We aren’t being the difficult ones here. Louis, you are threatening to leave. NOW.” At this point, Zayn was thanking every goddamn person on the planet that he and Liam had found Louis talking to his lawyers out in the orchard. Their conversation was now in a screaming fit, but from out there nothing could be heard from the house. Which was a blessing.

“Because Maria will get her way and you know it. I don’t share genes with them. I’m not fucking important.”

“Jesus, Louis. Is that what you really think?” Zayn slouched down to look at Louis. It was the first time he noticed the bags under Lou’s now closed eyes, his tear-tracked face and disheveled look. Not so bright, he thought. Zayn grabbed Lou’s hand to pull him forward and walk them to the nearest bench, Liam following behind.

“Oh Louis, is that what you really think?” he asked again. Louis nodded as his head fell into his hands. Liam grabbed his shoulders, causing Louis to look up at him.

“You know,” Liam began, “I don’t want you to think like that. Those kids are yours just as much as they are Harry’s. You can’t just run away when the goings get tough.”

“I know. But you two aren’t the ones that are being forced into something you don’t want.”

“Lou, we are in it with you two. You know we love those kids just as much as you do,” Liam continued.

“Yes, but why are you up to deal with bullshit and lawyers and courts? The only thing you two should be worrying about is Natila and her healthy pregnancy. Not this shit.”

“No, Louis,” Zayn said this time. “What Maria wants to put you through is hell and we are going to be there every minute of it. Just because we are never going to be in a situation like this doesn’t mean we don’t care.” Louis’ head dropped again, acknowledging that what Zayn had just implied was the truth.

“Zayn’s right. It affects us just as much as you, Lou. God, you’re like a brother to us. Why would you ever think we’d abandon you? And I still don’t get how you thought we wouldn’t care.”

“Anyway, Lou,” Zayn said smiling. “Harry would be so lost without you. He can’t do the basics and you should know that. Here’s a fun fact. Amelia and Ava got Ariel in their hair about half an hour ago. He asked me to wash Ava’s hair—”

“Heh,” Louis smiled fondly, “last time he tried, she had a crying fit and… wait, why did she have washing powder in her hair?”

Zayn chuckled. “They wanted to smell it. And see, Harry would be so misplaced and wayward without you. You can’t just leave, Louis.”

“I know. I guess it’s just the way that’s the most effortless to just get out now you know?”

“I do, it doesn’t mean you choose to leave every time something comes up.”

“I try. And I do that every time, don’t I? It’s funny because I don’t need reassurance on my parenting. Like last time Harry tried to wash Ava, the bath water was too hot. Another time he forgot her towels. Oh and just last week he forgot her favorite bowl in the dishwasher. And he can’t comb her hair either,” Louis said grinning for the first time—fondness in his his tone—like the right idiot that he was.

“See mate,” Liam said as he tried to control his grin. “Harry would be nothing without you and you’d be nothing without those kids. You can’t leave when you don’t like what’s about to happen, Louis. I thought we went over this years ago.”

“Yeah, yeah we did. I didn’t give up back then when we were drowning, this should be nothing,” he said trying to stop his full on laughter.

“I glad we agree, boobear,” Zayn cooed as he stuck his tongue out a bit and pulled Louis into a hug. Zayn was glad Louis saw their side of it. As teenagers they were all on the brink of forgoing the fight and giving up, but here they were still—stronger than ever.

“Oh shut it, Zayn. Not even Harry has called me that in years,” Louis chuckled as his head fell on Zayn’s lap, leaving Zayn to coddle him silly.

“Look at you two.” Liam smiled fondly. “ Should I leave now? I feel left out from the cuddling.” His harsh words didn’t match his glowing face though and Zayn simply reached over and kissed his nose. It was enough for now.

“So we agree, yeah?” Zayn said again looking down at Louis, who with common courtesy had closed his eyes at their display of affection. “No more ‘I’m gonna leave talk’? We really don’t need that.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m not going anywhere. But promise, yeah? No matter what happens we stay together.”

“We aren’t going anywhere, Lou, and you know that,” Liam said chuckling. “Come on lets go.” He pulled Louis up off Zayn.

Zayn stood too and Liam took his hand, lacing their fingers before laughing slightly and saying, “Lou, I think you need to get your sass back, to be quite honest.”

“Really now, Malik. I’ll show you sass. Just let me get my hands on you.”

“Never gonna happen, Tomlinson,” Liam cooed from Zayn’s left.

“Well then. We really just have to wait and see,” he huffed out with a laugh, winking at both of them before starting the walk back to the house.

“Louis, eh?” Liam started as they continued their pleasant saunter through their grounds.

“You have nothing to worry about, Liam,” Zayn said giggling. As if Liam didn’t know already.

“You think, but everybody seems to want that ass,” Liam smirked as he slapped Zayn’s arse lightly and moved his hand to one of Zayn’s back pockets.

“Yeah, yeah. Li?” he said as he fitted himself closer to Liam’s side his arm going round Liam’s waist, holding him tightly and his head falling gently on Liam’s shoulders.

“Yeah?”

“Do you— _inshallah_ —think this will be over today or—”

“I really don’t know, Z. I want to tell you that she’s gonna see sense but—”

“I know. I just wish she wouldn’t drag them through the mud, you know?”

“I do. She’s bringing her lawyer though. She might be up for a payout.”

“Liam, don’t you think they have given her too much already?”

“I do. But it’s better than shattering all we built together just to let one woman have her way.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fame and money. We know how it goes.”

“We do. But yeah, I don’t know what will happen.”

“Let’s just have some hope, yeah, Li? Are you and Louis gonna make that call to the lawyers now?”

“We will after I make sure the boys have cleared up the library.”

Zayn smiled a little before replying. “I’ve told the boys already about the library. It should be happening as we speak. And, yeah, lets hope they are able to deal with all this bullshit. I really don’t need a repeat of 2017,” he said, thinking back to the coming out fiasco that had occurred when they got themselves outed. He smiled again. They had caused a lot of trouble that year.

“I knew I loved you for a reason,” Liam said smiling down at him and reaching out to peck his ear. “Always so damn optimistic.”

Zayn blushed, feeling the knots in his stomach tightening. Liam still had an effect on him even after years of _this_. Zayn took Liam’s free hand again and laced their hands together, playing with Liam’s fingers a little before looking up. Zayn still couldn’t believe Liam was actually his at times.

“I love you,” he said, looking up at Liam, tone hushed, a whisper almost. A secret.

“I know, Z. I know,” Liam whispered back, as the hand on his arse moved up to cup the small of his back pulling Zayn into a tighter embrace. “I really do know, Zayn. And me too. But it’s not like I don’t tell you every few hours.” Liam chuckled.

“Still though Li, sometimes all of this,” he said lifting his head to look around, “feels like a dream. I don’t know what I’d do if I were in Lou and Harry’s position.”

“Don’t think about it, Z. All we have is ours. It’s all ours and maybe you can’t believe it yet, even seven years on, but I swear you will by the time we are old and wrinkly.”

“Liam Payne, I love you, but do you know how incredible sappy that all sounded?” Zayn said in mock horror trying to cover up his blush by fully burying his face in Liam’s collar.

“I do and I don’t care,” he said as he stopped walking. “I really do want you to believe, in this, in us,mujhmey yakeen hai," Liam said in Urdu, _to believe in me_. “And it might take some more years, Zayn. But we have forever to make it happen.”

Zayn let go of Liam’s hand and moved so that he was hugging the man tightly, dropping his chin on his shoulder, sighing happily. Liam had started to do that—drop in Urdu words and phrases at times, clearly enjoying the exercise of teaching the kids the language.

He felt Liam’s lips kiss his forehead—bringing him gently out of his musing—then his cheek and finally his right ear. Feeling Liam’s warm and steady breath everywhere. They touched like this often, but this time held something different to it. It wasn’t rushed or rash. It was slow and intentioned. Liam had a purpose—and that was to make Zayn believe and understand that what he had, what _they_ had, was what they were always going to have. Even if Zayn needed a lot more convincing. Zayn adored these moments where he could forget and just live in everything that screamed Liam. That screamed _mayra_ , mine.

Liam pulled back slightly to peck Zayn lips—soft and chaste, nothing major but completely Liam. As Zayn let Liam drag him out of the Orchard and back into the house, there was a certain new found contentment in his mind and a smile playing on his lips. For the first time in years, Zayn finally silently believed.

*

“Horan!” Louis shouted from the upper landing as Niall made his way through their now open front door.

“Shhhhh, asshole. Regan is asleep. She fell asleep finally on the way over,” Niall explained as he made his way up to them.

“Zayn?”

“Come on, Niall. Let’s get her away from Mr.-look-at-me-I’ll-shout-as-loud-as-I-can over here.”

“Fuck off,” Louis said chuckling heartily.

“Mind the language, both of you!” Harry remarked as he walked in carrying Caleb.

“He’s babysitting, who would have thought?” Louis said turning to Harry.

“It’s called being a doting dad.” Harry smiled but then the banter fizzled out as he climbed the next set of stairs to the bedrooms.

“Lets put her in here for now, Ni.”

“This is Layla’s isn’t it?” Niall said looking around the nursery, freshly painted white and peach pastel.

“Uh-huh,” Zayn simply answered as Niall handed him the sleeping baby—barely four months old and Niall’s greatest achievement. Zayn carefully placed Regan into the cot on her back, pulling the covers to just below her shoulders, Amelia’s bunny close by.

“You’re so good at this you know.”

Zayn chuckled. “Please don’t start on me too. Harry was already at it this morning.”

“Well it is the truth, Zayn.”

“Yes, Niall. It doesn’t mean I want to be recognised for it.”

“Oh, please.”

“Oh stop it. And anyway, you’ll become better with practice.”

Niall smiled. “That explains the four kids then.”

Zayn laughed. “Three for now. Come on. Before that demon gets here we need to talk.”

“Fair enough,” Niall said and leaned down to kiss Regan’s forehead.

“You know, mate,” Niall started as he led Zayn out of the room. “I never expected we’d end up with so much kids. Especially you.”

“Yeah yeah. Three kids and one on the way. Go figure.”

“Nahh, I love it. Gives me an excuse to act like I’m eight.”

Zayn chuckled. Niall managed to act like a child anyway. “You are that though, aren’t you, Niall?” Zayn teased.

“Oi, fuck off.”

“Can’t do that mate, I’m afra—”

Louis cut them off. “Oh look who managed to grace us with his presence. How’s Regan? And why are you in shorts? It’s like 15 degrees outside. Also you look darker. Where have you been this last week Horan?”

“Jesus! Calm it with the questions, Lou!” Harry chided, slapping Louis’ arm playfully.

“For one, Tomlinson, I’ve been busy with the album. Secondly Regan is just fine, fuck you very much for asking. Still sound asleep thanks to Malik here. Furthermore I don’t need a reason to wear shorts and no I’m not darker, you’re seeing things.”

“What did—” Louis was forced to stop his sentence when Harry put his hand over his mouth.

“Anyway,” Harry said. “It’s not important to discuss Niall’s skintone is it, Louis?”

Louis shook his head.

“So, I’m gonna take my hand off you now and I need you to discuss strategy not bullshit, yeah?

Louis nodded again. Harry always could get Louis to comply no matter what situation.

They settled into the library around the square table Liam insisted the place needed. The mess had been cleared away as promised. Harry and Louis were on one side, Niall on the other, and Zayn shuffled over next to Liam, as always.

“So, yes. The lovely Ms May will be present in about four hours and we need to be clear on what’s happening,” Louis started as everyone’s gaze shifted to him.

“Mr Azad will be joining us for the meeting. Liam and Louis made sure of that,” Harry continued pointing both his index fingers to the boys. “Maria is also bringing her lawyer in. From what Liam thinks, she might be up for a payout. Which we can provide. We also want to sort this out of court if necessary. If this goes public we might actually be done for. We don’t want nor neither need the unwanted attention. The kids are ours. Mine and Louis’. We have come to agree on that finally,” he said throwing a pointed look at Louis, who nodded. “This isn’t the ideal and we practically took over your lives, you two,” he said now pointing at Liam and Zayn. “Thanks for taking us in by the way.” He smirked. “Anyway, if we get this over with today we’ll stick around a bit more, maybe buy somewhere close. It’s an amazing area as you know well. We are done with London and every problem it comes with.” Harry stopped and looked at Louis, who had moved up closer next to Harry.

“Maria is out to destroy us. As both of you pointed out to us. We can’t let that happen. Being here together, in a united front, might intimidate her into thinking that won’t ever happen because we’re too strong. Our lawyer said you might not be allowed in here while she’s in, private and confidential issues and all. However you’ll be the first to know the outcome. Are we clear?”

They nodded.

“Right. Now that’s done, can I talk bullshit?” Louis asked turning to Harry who laughed at the question, nodding.

“I heard about eight times this morning that you’re plaiting hair Malik, is that true?”

Zayn chuckled and nodded.

“Well then it’s time Mr-look-at-me-I’m-ace-at-being-a-father Malik to work your magic.”

“Jesus, can _you_ all just stop that already. I’ve had it from all three of you this morning,” Zayn said.

“You are kinda though?” Liam said smiling widely.

“Oh god, not you too, Li!”

They all laughed at his expense when Niall expressed another sarcastic comment about his very good parenting skills. Getting up he walked out of the room and to the banister calling the girls up. He went in search for a comb and some baubles as well as the baby monitor before making his way back into the library where now everyone was happily up to their own devices. The twins and Caleb sat at the window seat, Aziz and Caleb reading comics while Zafar sketched away. To his right sat Niall playing some game on his phone completely blanked out. Harry and Louis were happily discussing the morning news streaming in from the tablet while Liam sat with the girls, talking to them animatedly waiting on the table for him to show up.

“Daddy!” Amelia screamed the moment she saw him. He smiled at Liam as he moved a little to the side to make space.

“Jesus, kid,” Louis chided on the opposite side of the room. “Its not as if you’ve not seen him today.”

“ _Maafi,_ Uncle.”

“It’s fine, Amelia. It gives me an excuse to come watch and, really? I can’t speak Urdu!”

“I said _sorry Uncle_.”

“Now that makes sense. Thank you, Amelia. Tell me, Zayn,” He said walking up to Zayn and Liam then settling down at the table next to the girls. “Why are you insisting on the Urdu?!”

“You have no right in that, Louis,” Liam said. “It’s only fair.”

“She’s three!”

“Yes, and fluent in English and Urdu—well getting there.”

“I really don’t get you two.”

“You say that every year.”

“Daddy, Daddy!” Amelia called out.

“Hmm.”

“Can you do the four one?”

He laughed. Her description of the fishtail braid was flawless.

“Yes, boo.”

“The four one? What on earth is she on about?”

“You’re not going to stop with the questions today are you?” Harry said as he slid into a chair at Louis’ legs, which opened automatically for Harry, his bare feet resting on Harry’s thighs.

“Shut up and watch. This one comes out amazing,” Liam said smiling.

“Oh so you’re in on this, too? Why are we not into the girly things, Harry? Why do they know about more cute shit than we do?”

Louis did actually sound jaded. Zayn laughed. He couldn’t help it with Louis around.

“Lads,” Niall said from the opposite side to where they were all huddled up.

“Yes, Niall?” Harry said.

“I think both of you two,” he said pointing at Louis and Harry, “need to learn a thing or two about girls. Shut up and watch, listen and absorb. Trust me I’ve been doing a lot of that these last couple of months.”

“When did you become so deep, might I ask?”

“Since the moment—” he stopped when the baby monitor beeped and a baby’s cry came crackling through. “Since that precious kid came into my life. Now lads, carry on, I’ve got business to attend to.” He grabbed the baby bag from the chair and made his way out the door.

“I envy Niall. How does he do it?” Louis said, carrying on once Niall left. Zayn took the comb to start working through Amelia’s hair.

“He’s got a point though,” Harry smiled as he tapped Louis’ knee to get his attention. “We can’t do…that for Ava.” He continued looking at Zayn, who was still  brushing the hair carefully.

“You’ll learn,” Zayn said looking up. “It’s what I’m here for, apparently.

“Yes, Mr-I-can-do-everything,” Louis teased.

“Stop that, seriously!” he said smacking Louis with the comb.

“Oi, Malik!”

“Oi, Tomlinson!” Zayn remarked back, hardly moved.

“How about y’all shut up and watch, or start braiding? Maybe?”

“Yeah, ok,” Zayn said tugging Amelia’s hair to incline it up.

“Hey!” Harry said. “You did that in the bath.”

“I’m glad you watched Harry,” he said with a smirk.

“Oi, why wasn’t I in on this?” Louis said in mock offense, watching intently as Zayn started to swiftly and securely plait the hair at his fingers.

“It’s brilliant isn’t it? The way he does it,” Liam said dropping a kiss on Zayn’s collarbone.

“It’s art!” Harry declared.

“Don’t be so daft!” Zayn exclaimed. “Really, it’s nothing.”

“Say that one more time and I’ll box you, Zayn.”

“Uncle Louis! STOP INSULTING MY BABA!” Zafar shouted. At that Zayn laughed.

“Kid. I tell your **_baba_** ,” Louis extenuated, “whatever the hell I want. Thank you very much.” Louis threw back across the room.

“Na-ah” Zafar insisted. Getting Aziz to move for him so that he could run over.

“My baba is not your property.”

“And he’s yours is he?” Louis said bending down to Zafar’s level.

“ _Nahin!_ ” No. “He’s daddy’s.”

Louis laughed heartily and reached down to lift Zafar onto the table, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“That he is kid,” Louis said looking in between Zayn and Liam laughing loudly.

“And Zayn, love, what’s with the Urdu? Seriously.”

“Louis, babe. They are fluent in it. Of course he’s gonna shove it in your face,” Zayn said.

“Yeah, my name is Zafar Malik-Payne. Look at me with my incredible knowledge of languages at the tender age of six. Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” Liam continued. “And the boys are learning Arabic too.”

“A-ha,” Zafar said. “ _wahid, ithnane, thalatha, arba’a, khamsa, sitta, seba’a, thamaniya, tissa’s, asharra._ See it’s easy.”

Harry laughed at Louis’ eye roll and Zafar’s showing off. And Zayn finished Amelia’s plait, earning him a hug and a kiss from his daughter.

“I swear to God, they said this to you a hundred times, why do you always bring it up?” Harry asked Louis lifting his finger to draw invisible lines on Louis’ stubble. What Harry said was true. Louis remarked on the kids use of languages every time he saw them.

“I don’t know. I think it’s kinda cool to be honest.”

“You can’t be serious, Lou. You diss it every time.”

“Maybe it’s cause I’m a little jealous. There I said it. Shoot me.” Which earned him a playful slap across the cheek, from Harry, nothing too serious.

Liam looked at Zayn almost self-consciously as if teaching their children all those languages was wrong. Zayn brought Liam in extending his arms to encircle him, dropping a kiss on his ear.

“Look what you’ve done,” he heard Harry saying laughing. “Guys, come on, you know there is nothing, absolutely nothing, wrong with it.”

“No there isn’t,” Louis agreed. “I just hate it because you make everything look so… effortless.”

Liam pulled away. Zayn noticed he was laughing, which was better than before. Zayn reached for Ava who gave Caleb’s game console to Amelia instantly.

“Matching?” He whispered to her and she grinned, leaving Zayn to it as he reached out for the comb again.

He listened back into the conversation Liam, Harry and Louis were having.

“What do you mean it’s not easy, Liam. I swear to God, I’ve never heard you so much as raise your voice to each other, let alone fight.”

“We don’t not usually, it’s really odd if we do. It doesn’t mean it’s easy,” Liam tried again.

“It’s not that we fight. It’s more about some issues I’ve not fully resolved yet,” Zayn found himself saying.

“And what are those?” Louis insisted.

Zayn looked at Liam who understood, and pressed himself closer to Zayn again before replying.

“Issues that involve his head and his body.”

“It’s not the bulimia is it?” Harry said. “Not again are we?”

Zayn’s cheeks flared, and he looked down to focus on the braid he was in the middle of.

“No, not again,” Liam clarified. “It’s been tough but he eats. It’s more issues revolving around insecurity.” Zayn leaned fully into Liam now to the point where Liam had to adjust to accommodate him. Embarrassed wouldn’t even cover how he felt.

“Oh, Zayn,” Louis said.

“It’s fine, Louis.”

But no, in truth, he wasn’t. He was ashamed at himself that even after so many years it was the one thing his best friends thought of when Liam mentioned trouble. He’d gotten over his disorder that was established in his late teens but it was still firmly in everybody’s memories.

“No, you’re not.” Louis said. “Yeah you got over a lot of shit but there are other things, aren’t there? I can feel it.”

“Yeah there is. But please can we not talk about it? Please.”

“Fine, I’m letting this one go, Malik. But only because you’re currently in the middle of something.”

Zayn looked up once he was done tying the bauble on Ava’s hair. She squealed and thanked Zayn before turning her head to show her dads.

Louis kissed her cheek and smiled. She reached out to Harry who helped her off the table and onto the floor. He helped Amelia out also. Both girls grinning widely as they turned to compare styles squealing excitedly. Zayn smiled, leaning into Liam fully. Liam reached out to pull him in. Staying like that. Happy.

“You know,” Louis said. “I’m glad how we turned out. All of us. Even with everything.”

“Yeah, and I know that you guys hate going nostalgic but I love that we are here like this together. It’s been forever since we hung out when it didn’t involve work or dinner,” Harry continued.

“We’ll come out of this yeah?” Liam said squeezing Zayn’s waist as his head found Liam’s shoulder again.

“Yeah we will. Hopefully today…Zayn?”

“Hmm?”

“You too, yeah? I know you have a hard time admitting when things are shit, but you too, yeah?”

“Yeah yeah. I can try at least.”

“You do try,” Liam remarked.

“Yeah but not as much as I want to.”

“We’ll get there. Together yeah?”

“Together,” Harry echoed smiling, standing up with a promise to go find Niall.

Louis grabbed Zafar who was happily oblivious to what was being discussed, sketching up some crazy design he wanted as a car one day and pulled him in. He cuddled the boy slightly before releasing him into Zayn’s outstretched arms. Zafar laughed happily moving onto Zayn’s lap sitting closely with his back to Zayn’s chest while reaching for his pencil again.

Yeah, Zayn thought, _saath hai._ Together they could come through anything.

*

“That’s the gate is it not?” Louis asked as a loud shrill alarm sounded somewhere in the house.

“Yes, I’m betting she’s finally ready to make her grand entry,” Liam said as he made his way back from the control box by the door.

“I’m taking them all upstairs. As it stands they are your kids not hers. They’ll never be her kids, she’s not about to get a free visit,” Niall announced as he started to round up the lot.

“Niall give me Regan please,” Zayn said. “If you’re babysitting you can’t have a baby too. It’s not the ideal. They will be havoc.”

“Yeah ok, here,” Niall said passing Regan to Zayn’s open arms, carefully and gently. He sat down on the stairs by the foyer, ushering the kids upstairs.

The doorbell rang after an innocuous amount of time. Liam gave one final glance around before he went to open the door.  

“Maria.”

“Liam, how lovely to see you again.”

“Just come in.”

“What a great host, Zayn, this husband of yours.”

“Just come in.”

“Certainly.”

Zayn couldn’t lie. She looked good. Still looked good—not that he would have ever gone for someone so stuck up. But he could see why Louis and Harry had chosen her. She had long carefully styled brown hair, and piercing green eyes. She was tall and thin, always dressed in the latest fashions. Maria had moved up in the world through surrogacy that much was obvious, her Scottish accent still audible in her speech. Her only remnant of a tough background.

“Who’s the kid?” Maria asked, pointing at Regan.

“None of your business,” Louis sneered.

“Upstairs, sir,” Louis continued bypassing Maria’s gazes to address her lawyer for the first time since they walked in.

“Please. Oh and only the parents pertaining to the children please.”

“That’s fine,” Louis answered. “Our own lawyer is waiting up the stairs. Shall we?” Louis said motioning to the stairs.

Harry moved first. Allowing access for them to disappear upstairs. With Maria’s perfume lingering in the air, Liam made his way to Zayn, sighing loudly.

“We’ll get through this, yeah?” Zayn said holding Regan up to properly look at her. It was the first time Niall had left her alone with them. He had taken on to fatherhood quite well actually, considering his life consisted of pints and writing the chords to Zayn’s lyrics.

“She’s adorable isn’t she?” Liam said tickling her slightly as she snuggled back in for a nap.

“She might turn out to be just like Niall, minus the beer of course.”

“He’s stopped that actually. Jack said they both had to, to raise a little girl properly. Thought you knew, Z.”

“I didn’t. Then again, Li, the only things I’ve said to Niall over the last few months concern the music for the album. Which only needs your voices on by the way.”

“You two are actually brilliant at that, to be honest.”

“You know it’s nothing, and anyway it wouldn’t be the same without all our voices on it now.”

Regan shifted again. Starting to cry profusely. Zayn thought she needed her bottle so they quickly ran up to Niall to fetch it. They walked into the cinema to find five nearly snoozing children spread out on the seats, while _The Lion King_ played on the screen. Niall directed them to the nursery where he’d left Regan’s bag after her nappy change.

“Shhh, shh it’s ok,” he said as he sat down onto the rocking chair reaching out to take her bottle from Liam.

“Shh, Regan it’s alright,” he said again, tilting the bottle up, and her crying slowly stopped as she sipped her milk. He rocked the chair lightly then stopped so Liam could sit next to him. It was a double chair, bought when they had the twins. They still adored it just like when they had purchased it six years previously. Liam leaned in so that his head was resting on Zayn’s shoulder and softly started to hum Amelia’s favourite lullaby as they slowly rocked Regan back to sleep.

“You know, Z, I can’t wait till we get Layla. I forgot how much I loved watching you do this.”

“Stop it, please Liam. All of you have been constantly at this today.”

“It’s only the truth, you dummy. I seriously don’t tell you enough how much I love you.”

“It’s enough, Liam. You’ve always been enough. Actually at one point I never thought I’d actually have you.”

“Is this why you sometimes still get overwhelmed when you stop and think for a minute.”

Zayn nodded and dropped his head on Liam’s.

“I don’t stop to think enough, and when I do I realise just how lucky we are to have all of this.”

“I know. I just hate making assumptions about what is up there,” Liam said nudging up to bump Zayn’s chin with his hair playfully. “I think we went too long doing that and never actually talking to each other.”

“I remember.”

“But from before, have faith in us, yeah? We got this far all on our own.”

“Yeah, yeah we did. I really am trying you know that.”

“I know you are, my little _hife_.” Angel.

“Baba? Daddy?” They heard after a while. The silence and tranquility of the room disappearing as everything seemed to be hit by a freight train.

“What Aziz?” Liam said as Aziz came barrelling into the room. Blanket in tow, his eyes screaming fear.

“Uncle Niall is fighting with Maria. Come Daddy. Please come!”

“Aziz stay here with Baba—”

“Liam!”

“No Zayn. I’ll send Zafar with the twins to you, this can’t be good.”

“Liam!” He tried again but he knew it was useless. He felt Liam press a gentle kiss to his lips just as Aziz was climbing up next to him. He held him close as the screaming of the deranged woman filtered through the house. Soon enough Zafar was ushering all of them into the nursery. Ava was crying while Caleb hung onto her tightly. Amelia’s look of terror broke Zayn’s heart and Zafar was currently trying hard to lock the door, but he was too short to sufficiently reach the knob.

“Zafar, Zafar,” Zayn called him getting up slowly and made his way to the door, locking it just as Zafar wanted and reached his hand down to caress his hair.

“Come on, you,” he said as he placed a sleeping Regan inside the cot again and bent down to pick up Zafar. He walked swiftly to the day bed they had for naps and had all the children climb on too.

“Hey, hey Ava. It’s gonna be ok,” he said reaching out to her. She came gladly, holding onto Zayn tight as he started to rock her into silence. Amelia and Aziz both grabbed his jumper and refused to let go while Zafar and Caleb reached out to each other as the screaming continued.

A slam of the front door signalled she was gone. Zayn just hoped they’d reached an agreement before the screaming fit. It was safe to say they all breathed a sigh of relief.

A slight knock at the door made Zayn get up and move, taking Ava with him, who promptly hid her face in his neck, refusing to look up.

“Shh it’s ok now, Ava. Promise,” he said unlatching the door to a flustered Liam who barged in. Zayn simply kissed him.

“Hey, hey calm down, Li,” he said quietly as possible as not to wake up Regan and a now asleep Amelia. “What happened?”

“They keep the kids, but she wanted them to pay her 2 million—a million for each of them. The money will be transferred tomorrow noon.”

“Yes, but what happened out there?”

“Oh, after they settled she climbed the stairs in search of them without telling Louis and Harry. They only realised what was happening when Niall and her started bickering. He refused to let her inside the cinema but he told Aziz to come find us. The man is a genius. When I left you the fight had moved onto the landing and I was able to get the kids to you. Harry freaked out and is currently somewhere lost outside. He’ll come back when he’s done swallowing all this.”

All Zayn could do was hug him.

“Uncle Zayn,” Ava said from in between them, “is it safe to go see daddy now?”

“I think so,” Zayn replied, letting Liam go and crouching down to place Ava back on her feet. He dropped a kiss on her forehead, making her laugh as she made her way to the door, calling for Caleb to follow.

“Come on boys,” Liam said beckoning them over.

“I’ll put Amelia in her bed. She was pretty shook by all this, no wonder she’s asleep.”

“Go, Z. And thank you.”

“No Li, thank you,” he said while Liam kissed his cheek then lifted both boys up and made it out of the door.

*

So it ends like this, the sun setting on the horizon, its pinks and purple lighting the sky. The orange overtaking the bright yellow of the autumn sun. The leaves everywhere around them turning from lush green to rustled gold.

It was beautiful, Zayn thought, as he rested his head on Liam’s shoulders walking through _their_ orchard, with _their_ new baby girl. It had been a couple of months since Louis and Harry’s drama, Layla was finally with them and life had lulled itself back to normal.

Louis and Harry had bought a house on the next street over and they persuaded Niall and Jack, Niall’s fiancé, to buy the adjoining plot to them. Maria disappeared off the radar. And not a word went out to the media about her plot to destroy them. She had her money and was living life—mingling with the creme dela crème—somewhere in the south of France. They didn’t need to know nor did any of them care.

Their new album had dropped and it went straight to number one for fifteen weeks running. They were winning their battle on that front, too.

And Zayn? Zayn finally believed that he was worth it. That what he had was his and no one else’s. That everything around him was real.

“Don’t forget our mum’s are coming tomorrow,” Liam was saying, tone hushed trying not to be too loud.

“How can I forget,” he smiled. ” Safaa has been texting all week.” 

“You know if we keep this up we might start having them over every weekend.”

“I really wouldn’t mind that, to be honest.”

“Zayn?”

“Hmm?”

“When did you start to finally believe?”

“About six months ago, right after the whole Louis and Harry drama.”

“Thought so,” Liam laughed happily.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Not much, but something changed in you since then. You just ooze happiness now, Z, and I can’t be happier. But thank you.”

“For what?”

“Believing.”

Zayn chuckled and reached up to kiss Liam’s jaw as he took Liam’s free hand and resumed walking.

 _Allahu Akbar,_ he thought. God is great.

No, life wasn’t easy. It had its ups and downs but he felt that finally the last piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. That Liam and he had a lifetime to make it ok. That he wasn’t striving for perfection any longer. That him just being Zayn, no _Zain,_ was enough. And he finally believed he had the right to call what he had _mayra._ Mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk how this happened. I just needed some Ziam Kidfic! in my life and this happened I guess. It's a monster, to me the biggest piece I've written it happened cause of Sam, who took a look said it makes a good epilogue to her Personal Rebellions, she's someone I've come to rely on a lot. Thank you! And also a late anniversary present for Zayn and Liam's first.
> 
> There is also a companion to this, That time already if you wanna I guess I just needed more of this verse for a while hehe.


End file.
